1 year

All week I have been waiting for this moment.

Your birthday.

I knew today I would be thinking every hour of the exactly what was doing on at that time last year.

When daddy and I woke up through out the night waiting for the okay to come into the hospital, when we woke up at the Huffs and had chocolate chip pancakes, when I got my epidural and the broke my water and I didn't feel a thing and was so happy about that! ha When Everyone came and played games while I was way drugged up from the epidural. The tossing and turning through the night, getting upset I was not sleeping! We all just waited for your arrival, along with all of our friends and family. So anxious to meet you we waited patently. Well everyone except me of course.

Those first mins after you were born are such a blur. The love and excitment. I remember Katelyn saying "is that red hair!" And I was thrilled!!! They had to take you away from me right away because you had some gunk still in your air ways. I was so overly exhausted and so worried about you. Your daddy went with you to make sure everything was okay. He went back to me and you through out the morning. I remember watching you sleep and your sweet little cry. How tiny you were in my arms. When we first took you home, how terrified I was of everyone on the road. How you've grown this past year. That every little land mark in your life has been the most exciting thing to your dad and I. I think my favorite thing you do now is give kisses. They are sooooo cute and precious. I just love them so much. You are so fun and are so smart, it is amazing to watch you grow and learn. I can not wait to see the new things you will learn and to hear you talk and run. But I am so sad for those moments as well cause I just want to keep my baby little forever.

This blog is everywhere and I am full of thoughts and emotions. But I just love you so much.

You are my sweet pea forever. I love you so much Adilyn.

Adilyn Leneé Workman

Every month your child gets older its an exciting moment! I feel especially in their first few years. I feel moments that are hardest on parents are the 1st year mark or when you have a second child, as they get older and decide friends are more fun then mom & dad. When prom and football games are the most important thing. When they graduate High School. Their first kiss. When They get married... I know there are so many moments and things that will make your heart ache for your precious little baby. Just like I do with my sweet Adilyn.

For weeks now I have been in disbelief that she is going to be one in 2 weeks. I kept telling myself I wouldn't make it a bigger deal then it is. That its okay, over and over, and today I sat here showing Chelsea pictures and videos of Adilyn . I got all the way back to her birth. The pictures made me so happy. My cheeks just hurt from smiling so hard. Then there was a video. A Video of my little girl just born, crying so soft and unharmed from the world, so unaware of how loved she is in this beautiful world. How my heart literally aches with love for her. And I watch this and start crying. And I am laughing cause I felt so ridiculous. "I am that mom" I am thinking to myself. Looking like a blubbering fool in front of Tj and Chelsea as were laughing, as my tears keep coming, as I look at this little girl in my arms who is not a baby anymore. ughhh.

I just keep thinking what an amazing joy she has been in our lives.

How I have watched her grow. How I will watch her grow. How painful it will be and is, But how wonderful and amazing it is. What a cycle it is to be a mother. What love we have for our children. How our children will not know how much we love them till they have their own baby.

I have watched Adilyn learn to roll, eat, crawl, walk, jibber jabber, laugh, kiss, hug, pray, play, clap, wave, and so much more all in one year. I look forward to the many years ahead and dread them at the same time.

You are the most precious and beautiful girl Adilyn.

I love you.